Junk, junk, and more junk

First of all, changing your eating habit is junk. Lean Cuisine, Healthy Choice, and Smart Ones apparently have no idea what food taste like and have never lived in the south. I reject your attempt at making food. I have decided that I will eat real food. I've been researching and trying different things. My final decision: No carbs is awesome, but just dang near impossible for this addict. I'm doing LOW carb and no sugar (unless natural as in fruit). I just believe that if God created it to grow for us to eat, then we should eat it. Pineapples were not created in a lab so therefore I am eating them. They are yummy and you cannot convince me otherwise. Now...beets, avacado, and mushrooms are a negative. I'm not eating those. No recipe or whatever your argument is can convince me that those are good. Beets taste like dirt. Muddy wormy dirt. Negatory. Avacado is mushy and I just can't even. Mushrooms are fungus. FUNGUS! They grow out of dead leaves and junk. They don't even go through photosynthesis. They have SPORES. I cannot eat spores. Negative. Don't even get me started on olives. Seafood is a no go. I don't do water animals. I'm not against eating them, I just don't like them. I wish I did. I am so jealous of the crab leg eaters. It looks scrumptious, but I just can't. Anyways...on a positive note, I am enjoying different foods. I even made some Almond flour biscuits and they were awesome. However, $7 for a pound of almond flour is ridiculous. Just sayin. Other junk to discuss, house cleaning. Y'all, I am terrible at house cleaning. After working all day, I have no desire to clean house, fold laundry, vacuum, do dishes, mop (not sure I even know where mine is), pick up toys, and bathrooms (ew). I just hate all that. House cleaning is horsecrappery. Top of my list of loathing. Someone needs to take pity on my and come de-trash, de-clutter, and de-dirt my house. I can feed you. I can't guarantee it will be healthy, but it will be good (still working on that healthy thing). Junk #3, the new elliptical. Did you know that when you order an elliptical it comes in a box in PARTS!? So...exercise has been post-poned until my man or any man for that matter put it together. It has bolts and nuts and stuff. I don't speak that language. Junk #4 Big Brother 17. This season is lame and I want to speak to the casting directors and pinch them really hard on the neck or arm. There were like 4 decent people to watch in that house. The rest of them are kind of lame and don't know how to play Big Brother. Plus, they need to get rid of Battle of the Block and bring back the Have/Have Not comps. Big Brother 18 better be epic next summer or I'm gonna scream and put in an application at CBS. Someone needs to get it together over there, man. Final junk of the day, my foot. It is perhaps maybe broken or something. It hates me. Extreme pain that ibuprofen and advil cannot even handle. Going to see the doc I guess. They better not send me home with, "Put ice on it and stay off it." because I will throw a hissy in the office. Ice isn't helping and staying off it is a dream. I have a toddler and a full-time job. The doctors can pay me to stay at home if they want to, but we all know that isn't going to happen. so... Have a junky weekend, friends.

Diets are bleh!

Well, I started my low carb/no sugar lifestyle change (If I call it a diet, I just can't even deal). I recently watched a testimony called Butter will make your pants fall off. It was pretty neat and gave the science behind why sugar is so bad for your body. Sugars are in the carbs too (bummer) so I've got to nix those as well. So far, I've been doing pretty good except that I am tempted to eat all the things. My addict self wants a coke and a whole pan of rolls. All the breads. All the chips. I think I need a support group. Hello, my name is Mandy and I'm a carb addict. Good grief. I did get an elliptical machine thing. When it arrives, I shall ellipt and such until the fat melts away. You people will have to ask me daily if I have ellipted because I need encouragement. Exercise is not easy for the sedentary folks. I'm pretty excited about it, but the question is where to put it. And don't you say the garage. It is hot out there and bugs creep about. I will need to place it in the vicinity of the television. My living room is small so if you come over and the elliptical is blocking everything, I'm not sorry. I'm trying to get healthy so move around it. Or buy me a TV for my bedroom. TV: I am watching Big Brother and it's making me crazy. These people this season are terrible. Just sayin. If I were in that show, I would probably be on slop the whole time and make friends with everyone because of my people skills and then take everyone out one by one until final two...then I would win the 500k and pay off debt. Hee hee hee hee! I'm now watching The Middle because it is awesome and doesn't cause anxiety. Plus, I've been coloring in those adult coloring books. Love it! Makes me feel less stressed and plus I don't want to snack when I am coloring away. Get one if you need some therapy. It is very soothing. So, I'm a board game lover. I am currently seeking people who love Settlers of Catan. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?