Mondays are not for weenies

Mondays are just no fun. Let's be honest here...no one likes Mondays. Mondays make you get up early and be productive. That's totally uncalled for. But it happens anyway so I guess we have to suck it up and go to work. I love my work...I just don't like early. Mornings are hateful. I'm trying to do better about getting up earlier. I downloaded an app called First5. It works like an alarm. You set it for a time in the morning and when it sounds, it gives you a little devotional to start your day with the Lord. It also has some deeper moments to study more throughout the day. I'm only a few days in, but I love it! It's a great opportunity to get up early with Jesus instead of a bad attitude. I'm excited! I still need 30 minutes of silence when I get up in the morning though. Today, I am thankful for Jesus, who is so loving and forgiving, I can't even understand it. I am so grateful that He loves me. He loves this crazy, sassy lady and I am in awe of His love. If you don't know Him, please message me! I would love to share with you about what He has done in my life! I am also thankful for Jen Hatmaker! Her new book, For the Love, is so hilarious, but also hits so many truths that we all need to hear! I made pizza tonight for dinner using her recipe and it is always a hit! I just still can't believe that I made dough and sauce from scratch...I'm so giddy over it! Thankful #3 my Macy girl! She is so spunky and imaginative. I love her sweet spirit with a side of sass. I've been thinking so much about how this is her last year to be a "baby." She will start preschool next school year. I have so many anxieties, but I know she will do great! Weight loss thought today: I didn't ate a wrap for lunch. Win. I had pizza for dinner. Loss. (It was all homemade though so I took some processing junkiness out of it soooo...half win. This is going to be a long process, but I have so many of you out there that are supportive. Thanks so much! Love you dearly!

Update (It's only been like 5 years...guess it was time)

Hey, precious reader! Forget about me? I've decided to finally dive in to this world of blogging...mainly for me. I've hit what you would probably call a rough patch. I just can't get it together, man! I am all over the place. I'm a scattered brain hot mess. Let's face it, at times, we all are. First things first. I honestly cannot say that statement anymore without singing a little Iggy A in my head. Good grief. Any way, I changed the name of my blog because I am overweight and I struggle and fret daily over my body. However, I loathe the term, plus-sized. I think Queen-sized sounds more sassy and fun. I don't have a memory of being skinny. I've always been a bit on the round size. This is not me body shaming (whatever the heck). I am stating the facts. I know where I shop in the clothes. I have decided I'm going to get healthy (I know I've said it a 1,000 times), but I'm getting older and I honestly get worried about my health. It causes severe anxiety that if I let it, could consume me. My time schedule is lacking for exercising. Don't even talk to me about walking outside. I hate outside. It's hot, bug infested, crimes happen outside, and I just hate it. I hate it so much. The sun is evil, hot, and bright. I have no use for such Tom-foolery. I was going to join the gym and go Zumba and such. I don't see how I could ever get time to go and I am not paying extra to bring my 3 year old for an hour. And let's be honest, my fluffy self ain't staying longer than an hour. And when on planet earth would I cook dinner after all this Zumba nonsense if the classes start at 5:30. Who is eating at 7:30-8:00 at night and then getting littles bathed and in bed?! Oh my gravy and biscuits! I'm having anxiety thinking about the rushing. The hubby works nights and is in dream land until around 9/9:30 pm. Who am I trying to fool?! So...my next expense is an elliptical machine. I can do that inside and watch tv in the air conditioning and without the bugs and the little can play and be herself. Now onto the eating. This is where all the evil is. All the foods I love are so so bad. I do not eat like a rabbit. I know the health benefits of going vegan, but I just can't. I am not a sugar lover. Don't get me wrong, I do love a hot chocolate chip cookie or a donut (doughnut?), but I really don't crave sugar. I'm a savory type of person. I love the chips and dips and such. I know exactly how to eat right. What I need the most is encouragement and accountability. I need someone to suffer along with me in this horsecrappery (thanks for the word, Jen Hatmaker) called losing weight. I've downloaded the apps, I've researched all the things, and I know how to do it. I just need to put it all into action. I do not want to eat salad everyday...unless it is with some ranch dressing. I've tried making the low fat version and it is terrible. I do not eat things that swim or live in the water. I do not, for the love of Doritos, eat tofu or beans. I just don't even know what tofu is made out of. It is a cheese or meat or jello?! If you want to be an encourager or you want to join me in losing some poundage, hit me up! The more the merrier! Now onto other junk: I am in a weird place spiritually. When my husband began working nights, it's like all things became weird around here. We weren't going to community group as much, we were not hanging with our couple friends as much, and I began living in what I like to call the not so single mom life. I couldn't make evening plans with friends because it would just be me and who would watch the little? So after turning down invite after invite, I finally just gave up. I felt weird about asking to get a babysitter when my husband was in the bedroom asleep. It just didn't seem right. I only trust a minuscule amount of people to watch my child (have you seen the news lately?! Crime ridden with weirdos) and most of those people are family who don't live in town. Life just got complicated. I didn't and don't go out much. Time passes as it tends to do and now I'm 32 and feel like I have super great friends who I never spend time with. It's depressing. Hold your eye rolls, I'm not trying to get anyone to feel sorry for me. I did this to myself. My husband works nights and goes to school during the day and I used it as an excuse to step away. This stepping away has caused me to also feel disconnected with the Savior. I know He loves my crazy self, but I also know He is calling me out of my pit. He is giving me the Daddy look that says, "Get your butt up and quit that nonsense!" So, I've signed up for a Wednesday night class at church that has child care provided (God knows what we need), my community group has decided to meet on Sunday nights (God knows my hubby doesn't work or school on Sunday), and I have been more intentional in my prayer time and Bible time. I want and need growth in my spiritual life or I'm gonna lose my ever lovin mind. Jesus is the curer of my crazy. If you think of me any, say a little prayer that I stay connected to the Father. I feel like I've unloaded a lot of baggage on you, reader. So sorry, but sometimes we have to get it out there or it bottles up inside and could explode. I will be using this blog for me to get out what is going on inside, if you want to follow my journey, please do, but if it's too much for you, feel free to keep scrolling on Facebook. Lastly, can we talk about Big Brother this season?! What a weird and sad cast. I'm kind of disappointed in the players. Also, CBS needs to get it together and entertain us! What happen to the way it used to be?! I'm also watching America's Got Talent. The professional regurgitator? What on earth is going on with that guy's organs. I cannot handle it. I'm also watching Gilmore Girls on repeat. It's just soothing to me. I'm reading For the Love by Jen Hatmaker. She is awesome on epic proportions. You should check her out. I'm not even going to talk about my novel right now. I'll just get mad. Maybe later. Love you all greatly!